been married to an intj for 4 years and known him for 10. we're not afraid of working out conflicts...
like begraven said, we have a really fun time together... it's why i married him. i'd say it hasn't been painful really. it was tougher at the beginning when we got married because we were discussing finances, etc. but we've gotten to the point where we put those issues in a folder and don't talk about it until we need to. i'm definately the more laid back one about money... and he's the planner and worrier-and i used to call him irrational and paranoid about money... with money... he did take words at their literal meaning... and it took me some time to figure out why he would get so worried about the money.
one thing about us is that we're great at communicating and i can see us old together. our communication has always been great but it gets better as we go along. one thing is we still have passion for each other... we're both mental people and there's a lot of comfort in our relationship. from the beginning before we had romantic feelings for each other, our friends would tell us, 'you'll get married'. we've always gotten along well together and i'd say our decision to be together romantically came about from a need to just be together and that 'in order to avoid hurting this person because i care about him so much i'm going to make a vow of forever'... we're both people of high integrity and so i cannot picture us breaking that promise. and so we jumped straight from friendship to *engagement. best decision ever, and SHOCKING to all our friends and family! but they were also as estactic as we were.
He'd already helped me thru thin and thick- my sister's death and a bad breakup with a boyfriend so i knew what support he could offer me. there's just been a lot of emotional comfort in our relationship.
During our 2.5 year engagement and first/second year of marriage we had a long distance relationship... only seeing each other 2x a year for 2 weeks while engaged and then him going thru a military deployment in iraq...where i saw him 3 months before he left and while he was there we missed our first anniversary the month he went to iraq... and then as soon as he got back we decided to live together because i was sick of the distance.
we were devoted and committed...you have to be. and of the 2 of 4 wedding anniversaries, we'll have only shared two together... last year he was gone away with the national guard for training since he changed jobs... and i was thinking 'military screws everything up' meh.
we're celebrating our 4th year anniversary in 3 days:) so even though it seems like a short time, it seems like we've been married much longer because we've faced so much together... my mom had a terminal illness and died last year... and i just had my 24th birthday 2 days ago. i'm young to have dealt with what cards i've already been dealt... so my husband has been comforting to me all these years.